His glorious work | Your god | My god |
---|---|---|
Created the heavens and the Earth | ✔ | ✔ |
Created all the little animals | ✔ | ✔ |
Created Man | ✔ | ✔ |
Created cholera | ✔ | ✔ |
Rewards those who worship Him | ✔ | ✔ |
Works in mysterious ways | ✔ | ✔ |
Helps Americans win sporting events | ✔ | ✔ |
Can't be bothered helping starving children | ✔ | ✔ |
Happens to have the same story as other gods | ✔ | ✔ |
Millions killed in His name | ✔ | ✘ |
Demands worship | ✔ | ✘ |
Punishes non-believers | ✔ | ✘ |
Preaches hate, intolerance and violence | ✔ | ✘ |
Tells you how to live | ✔ | ✘ |
Jealous of other gods | ✔ | ✘ |
Inspires psychotic behaviour | ✔ | ✘ |
Demands money | ✔ | ✘ |
Killed His own people for being so human | ✔ | ✘ |
Justifies slavery | ✔ | ✘ |
Created everything in 6 days | ✔ | ✘ |
Enjoys tax exempt status | ✔ | ✘ |
Claims all the good things | ✔ | ✘ |
Denies all the bad things | ✔ | ✘ |
Terrified of knowledge | ✔ | ✘ |
Obsessed with death | ✔ | ✘ |
Obsessed with sex | ✔ | ✘ |
Watches you masturbate | ✔ | ✘ |
Has never been seen | ✔ | ✔ |
Is completely imaginary | ✔ | ✔ |
Is completely useless | ✔ | ✔ |
So it turns out that my god is completely useless, and yet somehow less useless than yours. Don't you look like a wally?