Monday 23 May 2016

Your god versus my god

Let us compare our imaginary friends and see whose is the best (spoiler: mine is).

His glorious work Your god My god
Created the heavens and the Earth
Created all the little animals
Created Man
Created cholera
Rewards those who worship Him
Works in mysterious ways
Helps Americans win sporting events
Can't be bothered helping starving children
Happens to have the same story as other gods
Millions killed in His name
Demands worship
Punishes non-believers
Preaches hate, intolerance and violence
Tells you how to live
Jealous of other gods
Inspires psychotic behaviour
Demands money
Killed His own people for being so human
Justifies slavery
Created everything in 6 days
Enjoys tax exempt status
Claims all the good things
Denies all the bad things
Terrified of knowledge
Obsessed with death
Obsessed with sex
Watches you masturbate
Has never been seen
Is completely imaginary
Is completely useless

So it turns out that my god is completely useless, and yet somehow less useless than yours. Don't you look like a wally?