| His glorious work | Your god | My god |
|---|---|---|
| Created the heavens and the Earth | ✔ | ✔ |
| Created all the little animals | ✔ | ✔ |
| Created Man | ✔ | ✔ |
| Created cholera | ✔ | ✔ |
| Rewards those who worship Him | ✔ | ✔ |
| Works in mysterious ways | ✔ | ✔ |
| Helps Americans win sporting events | ✔ | ✔ |
| Can't be bothered helping starving children | ✔ | ✔ |
| Happens to have the same story as other gods | ✔ | ✔ |
| Millions killed in His name | ✔ | ✘ |
| Demands worship | ✔ | ✘ |
| Punishes non-believers | ✔ | ✘ |
| Preaches hate, intolerance and violence | ✔ | ✘ |
| Tells you how to live | ✔ | ✘ |
| Jealous of other gods | ✔ | ✘ |
| Inspires psychotic behaviour | ✔ | ✘ |
| Demands money | ✔ | ✘ |
| Killed His own people for being so human | ✔ | ✘ |
| Justifies slavery | ✔ | ✘ |
| Created everything in 6 days | ✔ | ✘ |
| Enjoys tax exempt status | ✔ | ✘ |
| Claims all the good things | ✔ | ✘ |
| Denies all the bad things | ✔ | ✘ |
| Terrified of knowledge | ✔ | ✘ |
| Obsessed with death | ✔ | ✘ |
| Obsessed with sex | ✔ | ✘ |
| Watches you masturbate | ✔ | ✘ |
| Has never been seen | ✔ | ✔ |
| Is completely imaginary | ✔ | ✔ |
| Is completely useless | ✔ | ✔ |
So it turns out that my god is completely useless, and yet somehow less useless than yours. Don't you look like a wally?
